The Fuck Would I Say What For?

I’d like to engage in sexual intercourse with you in this nightclub establishment yet again (redux, featuring Beyonce, with addendum by the lesser Wayne).

Usher: Yes.
Beyonce: Yes, yes.

Usher: SoundZ, I can hear you quite well, sir.  This is what is occurring.

I am the crowned ruler of this medium, as you are well aware.  My female companion is also royalty, of equal stature, and has returned presently.

(Hark!  Reinterpretation!)

Usher:  At this moment, young lady, I am quite speechless.  By now you must know that I desire you above all else.  If I were to depart at this juncture, in effect allowing you to leave without further attempts to coerce you into an act of public lovemaking, I would be unable to think of anything else for the foreseeable future.  You will be lodged in my psyche like a modern pop “hook”.

Beyonce:  I am aware of your attraction to me (Yes) and yet I am hesitant to pursue further action.  (Why?)  I believe you must be suffering from dementia as you have obviously failed to realize we are both in committed heterosexual relationships with unnamed parties.

Usher:  I am cognizant of the fact that we are here in this location, at this time, together, and from that I infer something momentous is at play. 
After all, you are a grown woman with the capacity to travel unassisted yet you have made a conscious decision to remain here in my presence.  I do not believe this to be accidental in nature but rather an act of divine providence.
Do not shy from your desires.  Allow me to have sexual intercourse with you and in exchange I will put you in the official revision of my hit song, a fact I assume you will wish to share with those closest to you like

In this nightclub establishment

In this nightclub establishment

(Women, do you mind if I place my sex organs upon you just once?  If the prospect does not frighten you simply ask me how I’m doing.)

In this nightclub establishment

In this nightclub establishment

(Onlookers may ogle at their liesure.  I am not to be diverted.)

In this nightclub establishment

In this nightclub establishment

Beyonce:  Usher, darling, certainly you must know I would be more than willing to engage in sexual congress with you but it is unacceptable to me to do so in public under the scrutinizing eyes of the nightclub patrons currently milling about.  I feel the curves of my naked body and my exposed erogenous zones should be a private delight for you and you alone to behold.  I think you are remiss in insisting we can perform carnal acts anywhere, arbitrarily, in defiance of propriety and civil law.  I would like to state, though, that the manner in which you touch me is singular and I would be able to discern your carresses from anyone else’s were my eyesight somehow compromised.

Usher: I will make you feel like you have lost touch with reality.

Beyonce:  You are doing your best to weaken my willpower and I fear I may in fact allow you to penetrate me in front of everyone here.  Logistically speaking, though, I strongly doubt this velvet rope is capable of acting as a sex hammock and I do not relish the thought of security personnel forcibly uncoupling us mid-coitus. 
I am not stalling, per se.  I simply don’t want to accelerate the act of foreplay into full-on sex if the possibility of interruption remains, because
you are a grown man with the capacity to travel unassisted yet you have made a conscious decision to remain here in my presence.  I do not believe this to be accidental in nature but rather an act of divine providence. 
I do foresee quite the dilemma if I concede to your advances, though, because I believe you would subsequently spread tales of your conquest amongst your fellow lotharios in this revision like

In this nightclub establishment

In this nightclub establishment

(Gentlemen, do you mind if I grind my vagina upon you just once?  If the prospect does not frighten you simply ask me how I’m doing.)

In this nightclub establishment

In this nightclub establishment

(Onlookers may ogle at their liesure.  I am not to be diverted.)

In this nightclub establishment

In this nightclub establishment

[ADDENDUM:

From: The Lesser Wayne
RE: Making love in this club

To whom it may concern,

Shorty went looking for an urban mercenary in the street-level drug trade.  her search began with a simple embrace which progressed as follows:
I placed a kiss-like kiss upon her nape which was returned in kind.  I suggested I could engage her in an act of intercourse like a stack of banded bills.  I’m sorry, I meant like a proper streetwise footsoldier.  To whit, I could also do this on the couch in the VIP area of this very nightclub.  Yes, Shorty, we can make love to each other.  (I must acknowledge the DJs choice of this song as it is essentially the sole inspiration for my proposed fornication.)  Girl, we could behave like two imbeciles, convincing the other clubgoers our rutting is nothing more than a provocative new dance maneuver.  Call me on my cellular telephone so I can whisper lascivious things in your ear with the intention of causing your vagina to moisten with its natural lubricants.  If you wanted to then meet me in the water closet you could become my clandestine mistress.
It may have begun with an embrace but it has progressed to the point where we are actually having sex in the most public area of a crowded nightclub and we will not stop just because a large crowd of strangers can see the particulars of my penis and your vagina and the ways and means we use to put the former in the latter.  We are unconcerned with their judgements and words of outrage because this is the- the- the reinterpretation!

Sincerely,

Dwayne Carter, Esq.]

Usher: Step forward and allow me to place my penis on you.  I want to assure you I will keep this action in the strictest confidence.

Beyonce: And I have succumbed to your wiles in a bout of unbridled lust.  I should be departing but your erection is quite apparent and I would really appreciate it if you would at least attempt to keep it concealed.

Usher: No one is watching us.  Rest assured they are preoccupied.  I am certain I have aroused you sufficiently, now allow me to penetrate you in public.

Beyonce:  To all listeners, whatever your location, posthaste inform the DJ you would like to hear this song on a continuous loop

In this nightclub establishment

In this nightclub establishment

(Ladies and gentlemen, do you mind if we place our sex organs upon you just once?  If the prospect does not frighten you simply ask us how we’re doing.)

In this nightclub establishment

In this nightclub establishment

(Onlookers may ogle at their liesure.  We are not to be diverted.)

In this nightclub establishment

In this nightclub establishment

Now please, inform your peers of their pressing need to hear this reworking of an already popular song.

In this nightclub establishment

In this nightclub establishment

Beyonce:  If we were to copulate here in this nightclub establishment …

Usher:  Club patrons would remain unaware, baby …