The Fuck Would I Say What For?

month

March 2012

24 posts

So you’ll forgive me if my tongue is in the...

Have you ever been so mad you ripped your own arm...

Exciting ideas for 2012:

Makin’ Bacon Naked: the riveting TV show where I brave considerable personal peril to prepare bacon in the nude. It’s a morning show. On cable, probably. No Hard Feelings: an erectile dysfunction support website where men and women can discuss the trials and tribulations living and loving with E.D. The Fuck Is Wrong With You?: a nine part web series where I show models how to drink...

If my best isn’t good enough then how can it...

STOP DESATURATING PICTURES BECAUSE YOU THINK BLACK AND WHITE LOOKS MORE “ARTSY”. It doesn’t, and you’re a dickhead.

“What you have is rather like birds on the Galapagos islands — an isolated...”

– Chip Morningstar, How to Deconstruct Anything

Fabrizio de André - Le Passanti When I told my...

Vegetarians (who are cool with fish sauce),

Would you like something very, very tasty to bring to your next potluck, family function, or subversive lesbian recruitment seminar? My brother hid the camera somewhere so there are no pictures, but here is the recipe for spicy Vietnamese brussels sprouts (adapted from the version served at Momofuku): 2 pounds brussels sprouts, halved lengthwise 2-3 tablespoons canola oil 1.5 tablespoons butter...

February 2012

45 posts

contrary to the fact that Hebrews had no documented form of writing prior to the 10th century BCE, we were to go with the traditionalist view that Moses wrote the Torah between 1446 and 1406 BCE (because Moses was a badass and badasses write if they want to, independent of the discovery or invention of writing) this fucking asshole still burned down a tree older than any portion of the goddamned...

cashcrab: The National Coalition Of Girls Who Still Think “Rawr Means I Love You In Dinosaur” Is A Thing will be holding a convention this weekend in New York City in which members affiliated with the group will meet together and form a massive sitting circle in which they will all draw pictures of Jack Skellington on each other’s Vans.

Let’s not laugh at this joke together, friends, as we used to.

Much as I would love to never go on the internet again, I have certain obligations (a fiancée in a foreign country, ATIAC, downloading Archer) that keep me somewhat tethered. I’ve been trying to think of things to do on the worldwide computer interweb that don’t make me want to kill myself or others. The list is small, but “sharing music” is way up near the top, right...

God damn, baby, say that you’ll be mine. ...

I’ve been contemplating suicide, but it...

My vacuum has a "hush" setting.

Every time I push the button I go, “Shhhhhhh, vacuum,” which makes me think of this: which makes me giggle, save for the fact that I never do that because I don’t believe in the “hush” setting on my vacuum, or at least that my vacuum can “hush” and “suck” successfully in tandem. Think about it. Why would they make a vacuum that can be quiet...

Keep serving up that good shit like, “Hi,...